"There's somethin' you're not tellin' me."

They both looked up at me then. Angel had guilt written all over his face, not that there's anything unusual in that.

Cordelia looking down, though, not meeting my eyes - that was bad. That was very bad.

She hadn't let go of my hand in an hour, and that was just not Cordelia. Sweet, yeah, but not right. By now she should be yelling at me, or insulting me, or something.

I'd been awake for an hour and she hadn't said anything nasty to me yet.

With that, and the fact that all my senses seemed dull, like I was still half-asleep.... Yeah, this had to be something rough.

"So," I went on, "Are you gonna tell me, or what?"

Cordelia sent an angry look at Angel. "Yeah, or what?" she echoed. "You don't actually want me to be the one to tell him, do you?"

"Doyle - " Angel began, and then seemed unable to continue.

Carefully, I moved up a little straighter on the bed, noticing how hard it was. "So y'want to play guessin' games then? I know that thing shoulda killed me, so what exactly happened? I know you're holdin' out on me, man, so spill."

"Your demon's gone," he blurted out.

"What the hell?"

Cordelia nodded. "Okay, good news first, that makes sense." Angel glared at her, and she protested, "Well, doesn't it?"

With a side glance at Cordelia, I tried to prove Angel wrong. Changing to demon was always the easy part; stress always brought it right out. All I had to do was let go, stop fighting it, and there it was. It was staying human that had always been tough.

No change. I couldn't change.

I had to close my eyes then, and just concentrate on breathing. Cordelia gave my hand what she must have meant as a reassuring squeeze.

It hurt, but I didn't mind it. Having her fingers wrapped in mine was worth a little pain. Okay, it was worth a lot of pain.

Was it really gone? For a long time that was the only thing in the universe I ever wanted, the one thing I knew I could never have.

I'd never admit it to Cordelia, but I wanted to be human even more than I wanted her.

Could it be possible?

Cordelia's voice was anxious. "Doyle, you still with us?"

"Yeah." I kept my eyes shut, trying to figure this out. Maybe the demon really was gone. Maybe that was why I felt like a pile of turds on a rainy day.

Shouldn't it feel good, being all the way human? My impossible dream, that was. Being able to do whatever I wanted, all the things I always believed as a kid that I could do when I grew up. I could be the man I would've been if I didn't have to worry about sprouting spikes every time I happened to sneeze.

This should be good news. The best.

So why wasn't it?

Slowly, I opened my eyes. "All right, what's the rest of it then?"

Angel was silent. Cordelia did one of her ever-so-chipper numbers. "Well, the rest of the good news is... uh.... well, that was the good news. That, and you're alive, which is definitely good news."

She smiled at me, and the sense of something being really wrong got even worse.

"Princess, when you start treatin' me like I'm made of glass...."

Angel winced suddenly, and I turned to him. "That made you jump. Why?"

"Your demon being gone is not completely good news," he said quietly.

"And that is because?"

He opened his mouth, closed it again. Then, abruptly, he got to his feet, and backed away from the bed as if I were about to bite him. "Doyle, I can't do this."

Cordelia snapped at him, "What do you mean you can't do this? You've already done it. Get a grip! It's going to be tough enough for Doyle without you turning into a gibbering idiot because you haven't got the nerve to tell him."

"Haven't got the nerve to tell me what?" I almost yelled it this time.

And then she was the one who had to start to tell me, after all, and Angel just stood there, looking like someone had cut his tongue out.

"What he can't tell you is, you're not back for good, Doyle. It won't last."

"What do you mean?"

Finally Angel approached the bed again. "She's right, Doyle. When the oracles sent you back, there was a catch. With the demon gone...."

"With the demon gone, what?" I felt myself starting to shake, and forced myself to calm down. Make a joke, man, that always works, right? "What? They're calling me back in for repairs?"

"You have...." He stopped, then forced himself to go on. I could see how much effort it took to meet my eyes as he spoke.

"You have about a year, Doyle. That's all."

It took a moment for me to understand what he meant. Then I closed my eyes.

Before the silence went on too long, Cordelia started babbling nervously, as if she had to fill it. "But then again, that's not totally bad news because last night you were dead, so that's a year more than you had yesterday, right? I mean, we have to look at the bright side, don't we? There's a lot of things you can do in a year."

"Did ya know?"

No answer, although Cordelia did fall silent at the interruption. I opened my eyes to look at Angel.

"When you had the oracles bring me back, did ya know?" I repeated.

The guilt on his face was answer enough, and I closed my eyes again, unable to look at it.

"Get outta here, man. I need some time." I knew my voice sounded harsh, and I didn't particularly care.

Time. Yeah. That was what I needed.

"Doyle..."

"Not now, Angel. Maybe tomorrow, okay? We'll .... deal. We will. Just .... not now."

"All right."

I felt Cordelia's hand moving gently on mine. "Cordelia, could you please leave me alone for awhile?"

"Only because you're asking me nicely," she responded, and if there was a little quaver in her voice, we both ignored it. "But I'll be back. You can count on that."

"Actually I am. But ... some alone time would be good right now. Okay, princess?"

"Okay." I still had my eyes closed, but I could feel her coming closer. Then her lips brushed lightly against my face, more the promise of a kiss than a kiss itself. "I .... Doyle, I...."

"I know."

As though from a distance, I could hear Angel's voice. "Do you?"

I nodded. Then I heard them leave.

Yeah, I knew. It wasn't hard to figure out how they felt. They didn't hide it nearly as well as they thought.

But me?