I stayed downstairs for most of the two days after I came back, partly because Angel asked me to stay, and partly because it felt so good to sleep in Angel's bed that I didn't want to leave. I guess I really did need to catch up on my sleep, and other things.
After awhile though, downstairs started to get boring, especially when Angel wasn't there with me.
When Cordelia stopped downstairs on the second day, all bright and cheerful, to fill me in on what was happening upstairs, I was out of bed and pacing around.
"Hey, getting restless?"
"Yeah, a bit. So, what's up?"
"Oh, Angel's been working on this witness who's supposed to testify in this big case. He's all scared and doing 'I am loser, hear me whine' and Angel has been trying to convince him to do the right thing. Angel is probably dragging him by the ear over to the courthouse. I think the only way he'll ever do it is being more scared of Angel than he is of the bad guys."
"You could be right."
"So, since you like to gamble so much, do you think we should make a bet on how long it's going to be before Angel tells Wesley about you?"
I laughed. "I expect he won't be able to put it off too much longer."
"Oh, I don't know. He' s managed to ignore every meaningful look I've sent his way since yesterday."
"Yeah, and your 'meaningful looks' are hard to ignore, princess."
The endearment slipped out without my noticing at first, and then the awkwardness of the whole situation hit me again and I found myself staring at my feet. She came over to me then.
"Okay, touch alert," she warned me gently, before putting her hand on my arm, and I had to chuckle.
"I guess I do need an early warning system, at that."
"So, are you going to look at me, or inspect your socks all day? 'Cause I will tell you, they are so not worth the effort."
I gave in, and met her eyes. She was smiling in a determined way that hurt to watch.
"I'm sorry," I started to say, and she put her hand to my lips gently.
"Don't. Let's not go there, okay? One of us here in the office being in love with you is enough, thank you. I've never had to compete with 'tall, dark and handsome' before, and I don't intend to start. So, just let it go."
I nodded silently, and she made a little noise like a truck backing up. "Beep beep, hug alert." She imitated the sound so badly that I had to laugh, even as she put her arms around me.
And then I stopped laughing, because she was clinging to me like she was the one dying, like she was never going to let me go.
"Cordelia.... princess, I...."
"Shhh. Don't say anything. Just, don't go away yet." She held me for so long that it was uncomfortable, even though she was being careful not to squeeze me too tightly, but I'd endured worse things than Cordelia's body against mine.
I had to admit that, even though it was Angel's touch that I wanted, that I needed, Cordelia's hug felt pretty damn good, too.
Finally she let me go, mostly, keeping one hand on mine.
"Doyle...."
"I already know it. Some things don't have to be said, now, do they?"
"Well, maybe not yet." She straightened visibly, and seemed to force herself to switch gears. "So, come to think of it, I do owe you a good swift kick, too."
"Oh, really? Can I take a raincheck on that one? And why?"
"Well, duh. Why didn't you ever call us while you were away? You knew Angel was going to worry." At my inadvertent smile, she added reluctantly, "Well, all right, you knew both of us were going to worry. So, why the silent treatment?"
"I did try to call."
"So what happened? Did you forget the number? I know you can be an airhead sometimes, but ...."
"I didn't forget the number."
"So? What happened?"
I was silent long enough that Cordelia filled in the blank for herself. She has never been as dumb as she pretends to be.
"Wesley?"
My continued silence was all the confirmation she needed. Her eyes narrowed, and she pulled her hand off mine.
The expression on her face was enough to chill me, even though I wasn't going to be the object of her fury this time.
"Wesley," she repeated. "Wonderful. Looks like I'm going to have to deal with him."
"Wait. Let Angel handle it."
"Why, because he'd leave some of Wesley's skin still attached? I don't think so. No, I think this one calls for my special and personal attention."
"Hold off just a bit then? Maybe you can 'deal with him,' as you put it, in the morning."
"Why wait?"
"Humor me. I'm bored here, visit a bit longer, why not? Angel's been gone for hours, and he must have a video or two you haven't seen."
I knew I wasn't playing fair, and she knew it too, but it worked, just the same. We both knew perfectly well that she wasn't going to leave if I asked her to stay.
Why was I protecting Wesley? Why was I playing on her sympathies to keep her from roaring straight upstairs to take that pompous ass apart? He certainly deserved it, and I would have thought I'd enjoy the prospect, but here I was, trying to block her from saying and doing something she wouldn't easily be able to take back later.
At first, I had no idea, but then I did. The instinct to stop her had come first, before the thought process really kicked in, but my thoughts eventually caught up with the gut reaction.
She needed Wesley. So did Angel. I didn't like it, but I had already learned to accept that it was true.
So, like it or not, I had best make it part of my personal mission to keep him around, for them. I wouldn't be here long, and they were both going to need him when I was gone.
That didn't mean I had to like it, but at least I could enjoy the process of distracting Cordelia.
"Hey, here's an old one. Ever seen 'Buckaroo Banzai'?"
I had completely forgotten that someone dies in that one, too. But I think Cordelia had been needing a good cry for a long time.
WESLEY
I hadn't spoken much with Angel, or Cordelia, since our splendid moral victory with the witness Marquez, but I was still in a fine mood when I came to the office after we'd heard the news of that villain's conviction. One more noble task had been accomplished by the Angel Investigations team, with my assistance. My outlook on the future, and my role in it, was definitely improving, and my mood was as bright as the California morning.
In fact, I was feeling quite thoroughly pleased with myself, with the sort of hubris that always demands an immediate reprisal.
The reprisal arrived with Cordelia, who showed up late as usual.
"Good morning," I greeted her, waving the morning newspaper in her general direction. "Isn't it a fine thing when justice is served at last?"
She gave me a look that could only be described as poisonous. I sighed.
"What did I do wrong now, Cordelia? I know it's not your birthday yet. What did I forget?"
She managed to maintain a stubborn silence for a few minutes, but being Cordelia, she couldn't wait too long before blurting out what was on her mind. Once she did, though, I wished that she had been able to stay quiet.
"Did Doyle ever call here since he left?"
"Why do you ask? Have you heard from him or .... about him?"
"He's not dead yet, if that's what you're asking. You haven't answered my question. Did he ever call?"
"Well.... I thought it was best...."
"I thought I could trust you absolutely with my life. Guess there are still a few exceptions to that, right, Wesley?"
"Trust him? Wesley? Cordelia, you are more of an idiot than even I expected. And believe me, that's saying a lot."
The voice was familiar, chillingly familiar. I looked up against my will, not wishing to see.
Faith was in the doorway, leaning casually against the door, with a gun in her hand.
"Well, aren't you going to say hello, how are you, how was your long vacation? Since you're not polite enough to ask, I guess I'm going to have to tell you that comas are highly overrated."
"Faith."
"Well, three points for the bright boy from Britain. Nice to know you haven't totally forgotten me." Faith twirled the gun negligently as her eyes moved from my face to Cordelia's and then back to mine. "You know, I came over here to finish what I started with Angel, but I think I'm going to have a little fun first. What do you think, Cordelia? Want to watch while I settle an old score?"
Cordelia moved slightly toward one of the filing cabinets. "Sorry, Faith, I haven't developed a taste for spectator sports yet. I'm sure you understand. You're more of a doer than a watcher yourself, right?"
She seemed to be babbling, but I could see her inching toward the filing cabinet, and so could Faith.
"But, you know, I do know a club here in L.A. that you might like, except we kind of closed them down, but places like that, well, they just come back like bad pennies, know what I mean? Since you're new in town, maybe I should show you. Hey, you might even have some fun playing their little game, you know? You'd fit right in with the rest of the demons."
As she kept up the barrage of chatter, her hand was moving toward the filing cabinet, but Faith was not so easily distracted, and she could move much faster. I could only watch as Faith effortlessly intercepted Cordelia and knocked her to the floor with one punch. Cordelia fell hard, and didn't move.
"Stupid bitch," Faith snorted. "That move was old before daddy bought her braces. Now, where were we, Wesley old pal?"
She gestured with the gun. "Care to join me? Of course, it would be more fun if you said no. Then I get to start a little sooner. Not ready yet? Too bad. Walk slowly out of the office. I'll be following you, and the gun is very much loaded."
Silently, I obeyed her instructions.
I could only hope that Cordelia would be all right. It was unfortunate that I would never have the chance to apologize to her.
My only regret was that our last conversation before my imminent death had to be an argument over Doyle.
As I walked out the door, with Faith right behind me, I hoped that my death would be quick.
